Taking One Day At A Time

Well here I sit on a Saturday watching TV as usual .. reruns of law and order.. and scanning other channels.. to hopefully find something worthy of watching.. 

I was online earlier and I read some comments posted from a family member about how their life as a child included family court.. I have to admit it hurt .. don't know why I even read it after all I'm pretty sure I had seen the comments before and if I hadn't seen it .. I knew from other postings I had read a long time ago.. 

I admit my life was full of turmoil and at times a complete mess.. mostly brought on by my own mistakes however when it comes to family court with my ex husband ..  it was him always dragging me through the court system in order to hurt me ..

However I will carry the mistakes I made for the rest of my life.. and the choice I ultimately made in which I will forever regret .. will continue to leave me in pain

Now after all these years the choices I made still eat away at me..and in a way they are even more painful today since most of the time I am alone with just my thoughts and plenty of time to think about what might have been..

I just hope and pray someday things might be different..  but sometimes I feel as though I will continue to carry the hand I, myself.dealt ...  through eternity..