Taking One Day At A Time

Best day ever yesterday.. Even though the girls didn't get here until the afternoon.. I just can't tell you how touched I was to see them .. it had been so long since I had been with them and simply buying them some toys at the Target store made the the happiest Nana ever.. not to mention Chandler the oldest was with me at the checkout and when a lady commented on how lucky some little girl was getting a basket full of items.. Chandler said it is for me and my sister and I said.. yeah I haven't seen them in around 2 years.. The woman said well then that makes sense .. that I would want to make sure they had a little girls dream day..

All I know it was my dream.. and I teared up.. don't even know why I just felt so good to be able to splurge on them.. I just wanted so much for them to feel special and I wanted them to know I love them with all that I am.. Jordyn already knows I love her .. but little Maddie and Chandler I never get to really see.. (which is totally on me I guess) I have to make an effort to go to see them.. after all what if something happened and I was to leave this world.. I would want so much for them to remember me.. They have a grandma.. on their dad's side but I would want them to know Nana loves them and remember me a little at least..

I am also so grateful to see my Brooklyn .. their mom.. she means so much to me.. and always have more than words can describe.. I watched a movie with her last night and it didn't matter that all the kids were running around playing it was so special to me to have her here.. just like old times.. she was always my movie and TV show watcher.. I remember when we sit and watched The Hills (and some other show) binge watching on a weekend.. one of my best memories.. and of course just having been blessed with being her mommy all these years.. I am soooo grateful for that..

I hope and pray she doesn't go home today.. I would give anything for her to stay just one more night.. I want so much to have this time with all of them.. (her and the kids) after all the little ones are getting so big.. ( they are little mini me of her ) and every time I look at them I can see my Brooklyn in them .. so little feisty and full of pure joy to everyone they meet..

I still look at her and am amazed that the beautiful woman she grew up to be is my daughter.. She still is my little bird in a NICU so long ago.. and when I look at my grandbabies my heart aches knowing I am missing so much.. .. too much.. Today when Madison gave me a hug and told me she loves toys and how she loves cornflakes .. it was just so adorable .. and something I had prayed so long for.. Little Maddie and Chandler are both so precious.. Brooke and Don are so blessed truly ..

Britnei brought Jordyn over and for an instance I had two of my kids in the same room with three of my grandbabies.. I hope I can remember to take pictures of all of them before they leave.. I just simply was caught up in the moment last night and forgot.. I truly hope they stay just one more night.. so I can have them just a little longer..

I bought pancakes and bacon for them for breakfast.. I thought that is surely something the kids will like .. last night we had food from O'Charleys.. we ordered in and than watched the girls play with all their toys.. Jordyn was good with them.. so all went well .. Chandler said she didn't feel good and I hope she is okay enough to stay one more day.. after all I love seeing them and I know Jordy does too.. she always talks about them.. and they are the only cousins she gets to see