Thank God For Fridays Right!

Here it is Friday and I'm at work and have already started my day. I'm at a stopping point right now for a bit and thought I'd take a break. It is still snowing off and on outside but not really going to accumulate to much, just mainly freezing temperatures and the patients are already starting to cancel. Our office hours on Fridays are afternoons so by the time this afternoon gets here we may not have but a handful of patients, if any at all. I don't really have that big of plans for this weekend of course, but I have a lot of articles to keep me busy and have some movies, laundry, cleaning, etc. YUK! Oh well, its going to be freezing anyway. As soon as the weather starts letting up I want to start cleaning out my storage building, of course I've said that before but this time I mean it. I baked a lemon cake, why I don't know considering I shouldn't eat any of it, habit I guess. I also cooked a small ham for sandwiches this weekend. I have got to start getting organized, I know that it would be so much easier to keep up with things if I started writing things down but I don't and what ends up happening is that my mind gets overloaded and I get a stressed. Hence high blood pressure. Geez you'd never know I was a nurse huh? I really should start taking some of the medical advice I dish out right? Oh well, I guess that is where the changes are going to have to start happening, I have to make some major changes in my life and not just having to do with my writing, but also with my health or I might possibly not be here on this earth that much longer. Its hard to say but I'm actually scared of dying. I hate to admit it but almost everything about dying scares me. I guess being a nurse I've seen so much pain involved with death that I don't want to hurt or have a long drawn out death. I also am truly afraid of the actual dying part, I used to believe with my whole heart that my grandfather would be there to get me since he died so long ago and he was like my guardian angel. However now I am older and I guess I have my doubts if I will feel pain, if he will really be there to get me, what truly happens, etc. Lets just say I am scared of dying in every dimension of the word and I haven't led the best life so other than what little faith I have, basically I nothing to comfort me.