Thursday, January 7, 2010

Well It Snowed Here

Last night I went to bed with a migraine and slept it seemed like I slept forever, this morning however I woke up to snow. The good thing was it was only a dusting of snow not near what they had said in the forecast, which of course was great. However I would place a bet that patients cancel today, nobody in Kentucky especially older people want to get out in the snow and I really can't blame them. I'm at work now and just getting started to my day. Haven't even had my coffee yet, but I really shouldn't drink coffee anyway we have a coffee shop downstairs and I can't really afford to drink it everyday because it costs too much.

I didn't eat anything this morning, which means I am starving but I really don't need to eat anyway. What I really need to do is lose weight I am only 5 feet tall and overweight in addition to being a Type 2 Diabetic, but I need to take my medication like I am supposed to everyday and eat a little meals vs starving. When I starve myself then I end up grabbing crap that I don't need to eat or eating too much at one meal. Basically I am a nurse who knows what I should be doing and I have trouble doing it. However it is not going to be a New Year Resolution to lose weight, instead its going to be a resolution to start doing what I know I should be doing.

Just to let you know some background in my weight issue, in July of 2008 the doctor that I work for absolutely broke my heart when he came to me and said that he was going to pay for me to have a membership at our gym for one year because he was worried about my health. I told him I wasn't interested but I truly appreciated it, he then stated I basically had no choice in the matter because no dieting that I was doing was going to work because I didn't have the willpower it seemed to do it on my own and he felt if he made me do this I would lose the weight, so he had already talked with them and they were expecting me. I was devastated and even thought about quitting but my family and friends thought it was a nice gesture and although he did it the wrong way, he was just trying to help. So I went over to the gym crying my eyes out and enrolled. I then decided fine I can do this, I will work out and do the whole bit a personal trainer everything. Well that backfired a little I worked out almost the whole year except for during Christmas and the January ice storm. I then quit going a few months early because of I got discouraged. The reason why is that he stopped paying after he didn't see the results he had wanted. I had only lost in 9 months a total of 15 pounds but had lost 32 inches and I had gained muscle but even though I felt better and loved the workouts, everyone was disappointed with me. It was like I was disappointing everyone, they all had expected me to have dropped 40 pounds and be thin and I wasn't. My trainer told me that it wouldn't happen that way anyway. I was over 45 now,had 4 kids c-section, plus the majority of my weight that everyone focused on was in my midsection and that was always the last to go. She also stated that unfortunately with me by never eating right my metabolism was running on empty most of the time and no matter what I did since I didn't have a high metabolism it wasn't going to just melt off me. She really I think felt bad for me when the doc stopped paying my membership and I started picking up the bill, because she knew I couldn't afford it. That is why I ended up quiting early because I just got tired of paying the bill, and of course the lack of encouragement from everyone. Oh well I gotta run, gotta do some work now talk to you guys later. Bye for now.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Kimberly,
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    Hope this helps-I'm not trying to sell you anything, only wishing to help. Congratulations for your determination on this exciting part of your journey.


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